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the aftermath

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Both of my kids have been off the past few days, but today took the cake.  I finally turned to Henry and said, “What is going on today?”
He broke into tears and tried to get it out…”I just wish Samuel was here for Christmas.”
I’ve been feeling it more this year than I expected, and now I know we all are.  This is our life.  Feelings and emotions come out sideways.  Most people think we’re being grumpy or rude.  We’re not.  Many take it personally.  They shouldn’t.

While this season is special, it’s also a very tricky one for many to walk through.  Everywhere you go you are reminded that this is a season of families being together,  and when your family doesn’t have that option, it can begin to break you down.  Whether you are 7 years old or 37 years old.

I can only speak from my own loss, but I can’t help but think it might feel a bit similar for families that are separated because of divorce, adoption, military service, or any of the other reasons that keep families apart.  Knowing that there are others hurting in the same way breaks my heart.  When that happens, I don’t know what else to do but pray.  It’s how He lifts away the pain and sorrow.  It’s how He helps me put one foot in front of the other again.  It’s how He replaces the hurt with gratitude.  It’s how I’m reminded that only He can take our pain and turn it into joy.

“Oh, I miss him so much too, sweetheart” I said.  Since I couldn’t take away his pain, I hugged him as tight as I could and reminded him that I understand.  I reminded him how lucky we are to know what it feels like to miss someone so much, because it helps us appreciate each other even more.  I reminded him that Samuel’s the very reason that celebrating Jesus’ birth is so important.  Because of Jesus, Samuel isn’t gone from our lives…he’s just not with us right now.

Then I declared it was time to bake cookies, and so we wiped our tears and marched off to the kitchen to make a mess.

Then maidens will dance and be glad,
young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
 Jeremiah 31:13


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